Trees... trees... TELEPHONE POLE.... trees... trees...

This weekend I decided that it would be fun to take some of my favorite kids camping at the beach. Harmless enough, right? I knew it would be chaotic, but figured I could handle it and we left Friday after work. We got there late and set up the tent, grilled some hot dogs, walked around the beach - it was pretty laid back and all was going well.

12:30am. The kids decide to go to bed, the boys in their tent and the girls and I outside on a tarp with our blankets.

1am. A SUV rolls up full of people - 3 guys and 3 girls, roughly my age. They're loud. Really loud. Country music blaring from the car, starting fires, and generally being obnoxious. I gave it half an hour before I about lost it.

1:30am. I go over to them and ask them to turn down the music. I get a non-commital "What? Oh sure." I go back and lay down again.

1:45am. Pretty sure it's getting ridiculous. I decide to go find one of the cops patrolling the beach. When that failed, I called the non-emergency Carolina Beach Police line. They said they'd send someone out. We go back to our site and lay down, waiting for them to get there.

2am. Random guy from SUV approaches. Drops his pants. Our conversation went something like this:

Guy with his butt hanging out: Where's my bon fire? I seem to have lost my bon fire. Can you tell me where my bon fire is?
Me: You really need to leave.
Guy With His Butt Hanging Out: I can't find my bon fire.
Me: These girls are 13 years old. You really need to get out of here.
Guy With His Butt Hanging Out: (voice cracking) Really?!
Me: Yeah. Go.

Meanwhile, Girl In Bikini is kneeling beside the boys tent taking picture of the whole thing. Because you ALWAYS want to document your flashings. Duh.

The slight panic in his voice was definitely classic.

I grab the girls and we walk down the beach a little, not wanting to hang out by random half naked guy.

2:05am. Cops arrive. Complete overkill, two huge vehicles, one of which is a ridiculous humvee. Blue lights flash all the way down the beach. The kids and I wait in the truck and watch them bust the drunkies... one girl burns her foot on a hot coal, general ridiculousness ensues. The verdict? Can't put them on the road and make them leave, so they drive them down to the other end of the beach away from us and all was well with the world.

A night in the life... you wish you were me. Don't lie. ;-)


PS - if you're confused about the title... don't be, it shouldn't make any sense to you.