The cop was definitely not forgiving. He wrote me up for everything he could find - 4 total citations, with a mandatory court date of March 28. I was pretty bitter about the idea of driving back out to Lawrenceburg again but I wasn't really in a position to negotiate.
So Thursday night I go to prepare for my next adventure to Podunk, Tennessee. I look at my ticket. The time at the top says 2:15. Excited that they gave me a time, I get my paperwork together and go about my business. Around noon on Friday, I'm walking out the door to my office and look at the ticket again. 2:15 was definitely the citation time. My court time was at 9am. I am envisioning a warrant out for my arrest, and call the clerk in a mild panic.
Me: So I'm having a mild panic attack. My court time was
at 9am and I misread my time on the ticket.
Clerk: Wait, you're the one coming from Nashville, right? (I'd already called for directions)
Me: Yes ma'am, I am.
Clerk: Well just get on down here, be safe. They'll be in for a while, you'll be okay.
Me: But I'm still in Nashville. I have to drive down there. There's no warrant out?
Clerk: You'll be fine. If they call your name and you're not there, they'll come out and I'll tell them you called.
Me: You're sure? I won't be cuffed when I walk in?
Clerk: No. Just get on down here, you called and let me know, it's okay.
Me: Okay. I'm on my way.
So on the drive down Rachel calls me, and I'm talking, not entirely sure where I'm going. Next thing I know, I'm like, 15 minutes from the Alabama border. Deciding to focus on getting there, as I'm already about 4 hours late, I hang up and call the courthouse again. Apparently Nashville is a foreign land to people in Lawrence County. No one knew where to tell me to go. So eventually I figure out that I'm 20 miles past my exit, and tune into the Alabama radio stations for the remainder of the drive.
The closer I get to Lawrence County, the stranger things seem to get. I start seeing an
abundance of trailers and rusted out, obviously
immobile cars parked on lawns. I briefly
wonder if anyone would notice if I parked my Toyota between them, but realize quickly that would require another means of getting myself back to Nashville. I did NOT want to be without transportation in this part of the world. ----->
Apparently Lawrence County is Amish country - Tennessee style. (Yes, that's a horse and buggy crossing sign, and that is a meat outlet behind it.) I manage not to kill any horses or people, and keep driving into "town". There's a Wal-Mart (of course) and about 37 Rik's BBQ gas
Eventually I make it to the courthouse. I walk in, now roughly 5 hours late for my appearance, and, after riding in quite possibly the scariest elevator I've ever encountered, I make it to the
traffic citation office. The lady immediately recognizes me as the one that called her a grand
total of 4 times that day, and she send me back to the judge. Who is sitting in an office the size
of a closet that she shared with another woman, flipping through folders. She opens mine up,
crosses off three out of the 4 violations, and reduces the speeding violation to the minimum. It took a grand total of 42 seconds, she sends me back out front and I'm done. Nothing goes on my record, and I've been released from several hundred dollars of fees.
So I hop back in my car and start to head out again, completely relieved. This time I spend my drive enjoying the scenery. Apparently the hot spot was the Kuntry Kitchen, and if I hadn't been alone, I would have insisted on stopping. I made the trek back to Nashville, slightly
impressed that the Toyota had survived the adventure.
Basically, I should never drive. Period.