Tuesday, December 16, 2008
So anyway, I decide I need something, and that I can get a good price on it there. I call (using (800) Goog-411, which you should all use - it's free and better than 411) ahead to make sure they have what I need and get transferred around 4 times. I go in there fully expecting to be ignored. Instead, a man named Anderson had set aside my items for me before I got there, carried them to the front, waited while I paid, and then helped me load everything into my car. I don't think I've been treated so well in ANY store in a long time.
It sort of made me sad that this is what I've come to expect. I don't know when I got so jaded. Why don't I always expect the best of people? Why don't I expect politicians to uphold the law instead of break it? I think people live up to the expectations that you set for them in most cases - and when we set those expectations too low, we won't be disappointed. It applies in so many areas of our life. Why don't we expect huge things from ourselves? From God? From the people in our life? I think we'd be surprised by how many expectations are met.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
I've had some interesting questions raised this week about how Jesus would want us to vote for this candidate or that candidate. For starters, God isn't a democrat or republican. There are views on both ends that contradict what I read in the Bible. However, I read a really interesting argument that has had me rethinking everything: Socialism is Biblical.
From Matthew 25:
Clearly, Jesus wants us to take care of each other. We are called, as believers, to give of ourselves, to put each others' needs before our own. The communal life of the early church was inherently socialist, giving one's possessions, selling them off in order to contribute to the Church. However, I believe that there is a distinction between communal life between a group of believers and Socialism on a government level.35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'
This may be politically incorrect, but here goes: The underlying premise of Christianity is NOT equality. It is salvation through Jesus. Period. That is not to say that God has favorites; he loves us all equally. But does that mean he means for us all to be completely equal in THIS world? Clearly he didn't, or we wouldn't have such different strengths and weaknesses, experiences and opportunities.
Let's stay in Matthew 25. Jesus tells two stories about a master who goes away for a long time. Who is this master he’s talking about? He is referring to himself, and we are the servants he has left to take care of business in his absence. We are stewards - he has entrusted us with the world.
This parable contains two important truths: The first is that the source of our wealth comes from God. He’s the one who gives. He’s also the one who takes away. The second is that God will give us not what we think we deserve, but what he knows we can handle.
He gave five bags of silver to one, two bags of silver to another, and one bag of silver to the last—dividing it in proportion to their abilities.
The NIV translation says that the master gave 5 talents to one, 2 talents to another, and 1 talent to the last. But what’s a talent? A talent is equal to 75 pounds of silver. The price of silver today is $9.66 per ounce, which is $154.56 per pound. So, to put this story into today’s terms, understand that the first person received 375 pounds of silver amounting to a total of $57,960. The second person received 150 pounds of silver amounting to a total of $23,184. The third person received 75 pounds of silver amounting to $11,592. Jesus said that the master divided the money in proportion to their abilities.
Now those of us who know the story know what happens. The first two doubled the master’s investment in them, which pleases their master.
Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!
The third servant buried what he had and merely returned what he had been given. He harbored resentment toward his master for giving the others more. Clearly, the unequal distribution chafed him a little. The master, however, doesn't redistribute the wealth. He actually takes away the little that the third servant had and gave it to those who were faithful. Sound like socialism? Actually, it's the exact opposite.
God gives to us according to what we can handle. He knows our hearts and our intentions. He didn’t give all the talents all at once. He started out with a little amount and then, when the servants showed that they were faithful to him with a little, He promised to give them even more responsibilities. Even more will be given to those who use well what they are given.
Use well. What does that mean?
If we keep reading, we’ll see Jesus divide those who remain after he leaves into two groups: the goats and the sheep. The sheep will get to be with him in His kingdom, but the goats will be thrown into the lake of fire.
There is a clear mandate, then, that those who will be sheep — the same ones who the Lord just praised for using well the resources he gave them — are to use those resources wisely. They are to feed the hungry, provide for clothing, visit and comfort the sick and the imprisoned. They are to love their neighbors in the course of their lives. No where in this parable does Jesus tell us to pass off this mandate onto the government. All these things are individual acts of love.
The goats are the ones who are like the servant who buried his money in the ground, full of resentment that he didn’t get a bigger share of the pie. But there may be times that we act more like goats than like sheep. Too many of us just pass on by the tenements and the homeless shelters without even a second thought because we know that the single mom is getting formula for her baby through WIC. We don’t concern ourselves much with getting our hands dirty in helping the poor, the sick, and the imprisoned because we figure there’s plenty of governmental assistance. And when we do this…when we rely on our government to do the mandate that Jesus himself gave us…then doesn’t that make us look suspiciously like goats?
So, there's my two cents. Are you a goat, or are you a sheep? I so want to be a sheep!
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
The roomie turned up the thermostat, and we all went to bed. The next morning, it's roughly 36 degrees in my bedroom. I lay there for 40 minutes, beneath 4 blankets with my dog curled up next to me, absolutely dreading the inevitable. There would be no showering. I pulled on two shirts, a winter coat, jeans, and shoes before even making it out to the kitchen. My roommates were similarly dressed, huddling over the oven. All we needed was a trash can fire and we might have looked like we belonged in our neighborhood...
Clearly, our heat wasn't working. And of course, you never figure that out until you actually NEED the heat. After railing for an entire day aginst the landlord, I get home to find my roommate in the living room, wearing a hat, sweater, and several blankets. She says the landlord came over and explained why the heat wasn't working...
We didn't turn on the gas. Naturally, our heat is gas. After trying hard not to laugh at us, he explained that we needed to call and have them turn it on. Thanks.
Meanwhile, we have to wait at least 48 hours for them to come hook us up. Here's to space heaters and lots of blankets...
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Things have been going well. Obviously, there are some kids we are getting to know better than others. Today might have been the coolest day yet. I got home from work to find 4 kids playing in our front yard. So I talked to them for a minute, and then asked if they wanted to help me make rice krispy treats. Clearly, that was a hit. The next thing I know, we've got 8 kids in the house eating rice krispy treats and begging us to go play in the yard with them. Liz and I took them outside and played games - soon we had 12 kids in our back yard.
After the mosquitoes started to attack, we came inside for sweet tea and I popped in a movie to chill them out a little. Like I said, there were 12 kids, ranging in age from 6 to 13. They were all just thrilled that they got to come over and hang out - it's so cool to have the opportunity to build solid relationships with them. I'm so excited that they LIKE us! It's amazing how well kids respond when you spend time with them.
Anyway, if you could pray about that it would be greatly appreciated. For guidance for us, for the kids, and for our relationships with their families, so this can continue.
Monday, September 15, 2008
12:30am. The kids decide to go to bed, the boys in their tent and the girls and I outside on a tarp with our blankets.
1am. A SUV rolls up full of people - 3 guys and 3 girls, roughly my age. They're loud. Really loud. Country music blaring from the car, starting fires, and generally being obnoxious. I gave it half an hour before I about lost it.
1:30am. I go over to them and ask them to turn down the music. I get a non-commital "What? Oh sure." I go back and lay down again.
1:45am. Pretty sure it's getting ridiculous. I decide to go find one of the cops patrolling the beach. When that failed, I called the non-emergency Carolina Beach Police line. They said they'd send someone out. We go back to our site and lay down, waiting for them to get there.
2am. Random guy from SUV approaches. Drops his pants. Our conversation went something like this:
Guy with his butt hanging out: Where's my bon fire? I seem to have lost my bon fire. Can you tell me where my bon fire is?
Me: You really need to leave.
Guy With His Butt Hanging Out: I can't find my bon fire.
Me: These girls are 13 years old. You really need to get out of here.
Guy With His Butt Hanging Out: (voice cracking) Really?!
Me: Yeah. Go.
Meanwhile, Girl In Bikini is kneeling beside the boys tent taking picture of the whole thing. Because you ALWAYS want to document your flashings. Duh.
The slight panic in his voice was definitely classic.
I grab the girls and we walk down the beach a little, not wanting to hang out by random half naked guy.
2:05am. Cops arrive. Complete overkill, two huge vehicles, one of which is a ridiculous humvee. Blue lights flash all the way down the beach. The kids and I wait in the truck and watch them bust the drunkies... one girl burns her foot on a hot coal, general ridiculousness ensues. The verdict? Can't put them on the road and make them leave, so they drive them down to the other end of the beach away from us and all was well with the world.
A night in the life... you wish you were me. Don't lie. ;-)
PS - if you're confused about the title... don't be, it shouldn't make any sense to you.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
This month, I'm temping at a medical firm in RTP. Which is great, don't get me wrong. I really like it here. But this whole 9-5:30, pantyhose-requiring, grown up office is taking some getting used to. The scary thing is, I'm sort of enjoying it. I always thought I'd hate the corporate world. The idea of a real job always irritated me... but oddly enough, the routine is nice. I've never had one of those before. I'm enjoying the relative stability. For now, I need it. That will probably change - I'll get restless and want to do something more challenging and more exciting, and I will, I have no doubts. But having the time and money to go to the beach and go camping is pretty sweet, I'm not gonna lie.
I don't think it's sunk yet in that I'm not a college student anymore.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Please tell me I'll get a big girl job soon. Okay great.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Things I've done here so far:
- gone to Cookout three times. In 4 days.
- stayed up until 4am to watch a meteor shower.
- watched Aladdin for the first time in like 10 years
- slept until noon.
- gotten pulled over for speeding... which I totally talked my way out of by pretending I was "new to the area"... yay for Tennessee tags.
- called everyone I know.
- bought a stupid number of DVDs at Blockbuster - they were on sale and I HAVE TIME TO WATCH THEM NOW.
- baked a birthday cake for Lisa with Max and Cana. Lots of sprinkles were involved.
- stole Renee's keys and left her locked out of her house.
- not turned on my mac.
- checked out my NEW HOUSE in the ghetto. I <3 it.
- hung out with my fabulous new roommate and her crazy mother. We're going to have way too much fun.
I miss you Nashville kids, though. I'm not gonna lie. I feel like both of my lives need to converge. That would be great. Nashville + Raleigh = my version of heaven. :-)
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
Scully: Do you think God hears your prayers?Burn. She's "done chasing monsters in the dark", which ultimately brings her to leave Mulder at the unibomber style abode he (they? I wasn't clear on this...) is living in. But not before they make out a little.
Father Joe: Do you think He hears yours?
Scully: I didn't bugger 37 alter boys.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
What was I NOT a fan of? The INSANE old lady sitting next to me. My friends and I walk into the theater. Of course, there are 6 sold out showings of this movie at Green Hills - it's absolute chaos. We stroll in like 10 minutes before it's supposed to start and clearly, there are not 4 seats available. So we split up. This lady from the back hollers at us and points to a couple seats, so T and I head to the back. Our first sign to run should have been the look of relief on the face of the guy sitting next to us. He was entirely too grateful to have two people between him and Bertha. (Note: Bertha wasn't her real name. At least I don't think it was. That would be unfortunate. It seems appropriate for my purposes though.)
So Bertha rambles on about the movie. I mention that I'm tired. Being as it's after midnight and I have already been awake for 18 hours and worked and went to school all day. She goes "SUCK IT UP! It's BATMAN!" I was like, great okay. Then she notices that the sound is off. Obviously, it was supposed to be, as they were walking through, checking tickets, etc... the previews haven't even started. But she was upset. So, naturally, she takes her shoes off and wanders around for someone to inform.
She comes back. She overhears me telling a story to T about someone who told me to shut up. I hear "Yeah, GREAT IDEA." At this point I'm pretty sure I dug my nails into his arm and told him I was going to take the old lady out. Unsatisfied with the theater's response for her request for volume, Barefoot Bertha started wandering around again. I made T switch places with me while she was up. So naturally, when she returns, she starts talking to him instead.
I overhear something about him keeping me quiet. Bertha's plan for silencing me was to tell T to kiss me so I couldn't talk. I believe there was a lecture about keeping the phones in pockets so she wouldn't have to deal with the glow. Some cussing people out around us to shut up. The movie finally starts, and apparently wasn't good enough for her to stay through to the end - she rolled out about 3/4 way through.
Incredible. If I run into a Bertha tonight at the X Files premiere, roomie's gonna have to hold me back, because I might cry if I get kicked out.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
Monday, July 7, 2008
This was supposed to be an outdoor wedding, mind you. But aside from a flock of geese landing during the lighting of the unity candle, it went off well. Amazingly, the rain held out until 5 minutes after the ceremony, and we were all indoors for the reception. So we do the dances and eat the food, eat some cake.
Then it's time for the bouquet toss. A group of about 8 of us get up front and Ashley tosses the bouquet. All the bridesmaids stand still. Apparently the plan was that all the bridesmaids were going to step back and let Becca get it. Well, Becca didn't go for it either. So... I did... and got it. Then it's time for the garter toss.
The most awkward guy up there is a shaggy blonde guy named Zeb. So Zeb, of course, catches the garter. Suzanne goes "You know, I've been to some weddings where the guys that catches the garter has to put it on the girl that catches the bouquet..."
Before I could say that I was glad that wasn't happening, the DJ calls my name into the mic. Zeb and I head up to the dance floor and I get seated in the chair so Zeb can put the garter on me. It may have been one of the most awkward moments ever. I'm sitting in the chair in front of all these people - keep in mind I know like, 3 people in the room - and Zeb kneels in front of me and slides the garter up over my knee. Good thing I shaved, or it could have been even more awkward.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Monday, June 30, 2008
Its a black Nissan. And I have been calling it my government official car. Maybe if I put some blue lights on top people wouldn't hit me anymore? That'd be great.
... but really though, every time I get in it I feel like I should have a suit on. And be on my cell phone in pursuit of something dangerous and X Files worthy. Oh man. Can we tell I'm trying to re-watch the ENTIRE SERIES before the movie comes out next month? Pretty sure my roommates hate me.
This is what it looks like:
I chose this picture just because it's in front of the Acura sign and that made me giggle. Because it's not an Acura. It's a Nissan. Get it?!
Finance is almost done. And I'm coming home Wednesday. And I get to see my favorite person in the whole world. :-) Plus a few other people who are pretty cool... I'm gonna go get this homework done so I can spend my night watching some more X Files.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Anyway, so I grab an armload of trash out of the car and walk to the dumpster, which is right behind my car. I heave all the junk forward, and almost all of it hits the ground. About the only thing that made it IN to the dumpster were my keys, which I'd slung around my pinky finger. Awesome.
They sat there between two bags of trash, taunting me. I stood for a second to devise a plan, cursing my lack of height, and figure climbing onto the ledge and leaning forward would be the easiest. Let me tell you, dumpsters are not easily scaled. After that plan failed miserably, I looked at my car and realized I had a stack of text books. So I stack them up and stand on them, giving me the extra boost I needed to reach my keys. I lean forward and the books slide out from under me, and I lunge forward, winding up to my elbows in trash.
Yes, I had the presence of mind to snag the keys before I ran away and dry heaved. So I'm going to bathe in bleach now.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
I do know that it hurts, and that these are the moments I would normally choose to run away. I'm getting better about that. Escaping is nothing more than a temporary fix - and it usually hurts worse on the back end. Delaying the healing process comes with it's own set of problems. I don't know what God's got lined up for me, but it's becoming more and more clear that Tennessee isn't in the plan right now, and now that I know that, I want to be done with this chapter. This summer is proving to be agonizing. I think that all He asks is that we do the best we can to hear Him. The listening thing is definitely something I have to work on. I'd rather sit there and discuss things and think and read and come up with ideas than just sit and hear what He's got to say.
So right now, my prayers are for stillness. For quiet, for moments of silence and focus. For direction - clarity. And -ultimately - healing. I know that things will work out. He always sees to that.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
I went into the day with no sleep. Well, that's sort of a lie. I probably slept about an hour at a rest area somewhere in Kentucky. So basically, I was in fine form, and completely on top of my game. However, M's family was incredible and helped me a ton. Another friend came out and helped. It all got done. I even got all my new bedding on my bed and put my lamps together. At around 10pm I was pumped to go to sleep... then we thought we would get the entertainment center put together. We failed. At around midnight we called it quits and I went to sleep. This morning I get up entirely too early to move my car so the POD people can pick it up for Ash... I walk back inside and hear a weird noise in the bathroom. The toilet broke. Water was everywhere.
Meanwhile, roomie's POD was being picked up, her bed was being delivered, and the washer and dryer were being delivered. Basically at the same time. I'm in my pajamas with no make up on at all lookin' HIT, attempting to conquer the entertainment center. Dogface was locked out on the patio so he wouldn't get in the way, making the most horrendous noises you have ever heard in your life. It was a magical moment on Plum Nelly Circle.
So, with the delivery guys gone and the repair guys in the bathroom doing their thing, I manage to defeat the furniture gods and produce a brilliantly assembled entertainment center. Then I go to move it and rip the side of it off, splintering the board and generally destroying my work. There goes the brilliance. They are, however, sending a free replacement board and all will be well in 5-7 business days.
So there you have the first day in the new place. As M and her cousin decided yesterday, first day in and we had beds and a shower, really can't complain. Right?
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
The only time I've killed another animal was when I was driving home from Alabama over the Nickajack Dam and I hit a muskrat. And true to form, I definitely made a spectacle of it. I didn't just hit it and leave it on the road. Oh no. Apparently it caught on my back tire and got airborne. I looked back through my rear view and see a muskrat spinning through the air behind me. I didn't see any subsequent accidents indicating that it landed on a windshield, so my assumption is that it landed a) on the side of the road where road kill belongs, or b) over the side of the bridge in the water somewhere.
This squirrel, however, is smashed in the alley. And I will be forced to stare at it every day. That's what I get for being a murderer, I suppose.
Moving. Oh. My. Gosh. And I get to do it again on Monday. I packed Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. Stole Tony's SUV and started hauling stuff Wednesday. Thursday moved furniture. Friday Fan Fair began for me. Insanity. Saturday we did the fan fair thing during the day, I took a three hour "break", during which I moved all of my food and dishes and some other misc boxes, and went back downtown at 4 to be at Rachel's Limelight show. It was a long freaking day.
Sunday rolled around. We wrapped up at the convention center at 4. After breaking stuff down and loading it into boxes, we sat and waited for them to let the truck in so we could load up. And waited. For an hour and a half. Pretty sure we all crashed immediately. This picture sums it all up:
So Monday. Back to school. I woke up at some stupid hour of the morning, thinking I'd study. Which... I actually did. I went to class in pajamas, planning on going directly home after I wrapped up at school. Nope. Bossman calls and informs me that we need ink. INK. That I need to go get. So... since I
So now the focus is buying a car. And making Geico give me the rental until I get one. Can I just be done with this and get out of Tennessee?
Friday, June 6, 2008
Today started off a little rough. I stayed out past my bed time last night and was definitely draggin' a little... 3 hrs just doesn't do it for me anymore. I made it through the day. Denver helped me get the last big furniture piece out of the apartment. Progress was made. I went to both offices. Made it to a friend's birthday dinner. Then... I thought it was a good idea to go to a midnight writer's round at the Hard Rock. So I'm heading home at 2am to begin with. I'm rolling down the highway, and all of a sudden we all stop. All four lanes. I can't see anything, but the fact that people are running down the side of the highway and sitting on the hoods of their cars doesn't bode well for my quick return home.
So I sat. And text messaged. And Facebooked. And started blogging on my phone. And seethed and plotted against the idiot teenagers that were running between the cars banging on people's hoods. Mid blog, I see cars moving. Slowly. 2am had turned into 3am before we saw any movement. I made it home at 3:30am. And found out that our callbox was broken. I couldn't get into my own complex for 25 minutes.
Then, because I'm an idiot, I thought packing would be a great idea. Just load up the car one more time.
FAIL. The dog had been inside all day and proceeded to run in circles around the complex and howl like some sort of banshee. I cut myself on the picture I broke. I woke up my poor roommate sometime around 4am. However, the car is now loaded. All that is left are my clothes and dishes, and I am officially done with this apartment.
For now, I'm sitting on the couch running late for work, because I feel like a truck rolled over me.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
... weird. I'll update you.
So this week is pure insanity for me. Classes started, Fan Fair is here, and I'm moving. And you know, working, trying to sort out car stuff (which has to be done by Friday when they take back my rental or I'm carless...), etc. At least it's gorgeous out. Sun puts me in a good mood.
Belmont, once again, made financial aid way more complicated than it needed to be... and informed me at 10am yesterday that my classes would be dropped, as my loan would not be certified until later this week. I lost it. I went up there, told them they needed to keep my schedule, and... they actually did. So one by one, the things that could keep me from graduating are disappearing. Just over 2 months!
I've made a serious dent in packing. Which is good, because I plan on hauling the majority of my stuff out TOMORROW. And, so far, the only injury sustained was minor (I managed to tip a bookshelf forward, and every single shelf slid out onto my foot... it was awesome).
My dog is really bitter about the whole situation. With unofficial boy roommate gone and the apartment in utter chaos, he's a bit off kilter. He was in fine form last night. To begin with, Michelle and I discovered "protest poop" under the table. I don't really get the whole "I'm mad at you so I'm going to poop on the floor" response a lot of animals have. I mean, honestly, can we just imagine what would occur if humans had those retaliation tactics? Ugh. Gosh, why did I even go there...
Anyway, so after we get cleaned up, we were packing up comforters into vacuum storage bags (which, PS, are the BEST INVENTIONS EVER), and he pointedly walks over, farts in our general direction, and promptly returns to his corner of the couch.
Then it's dinner time. M is eating in the living room. The dog wanders over, and makes this gagging noise, right over her plate. It seriously looked like he was pretending to throw up on her plate. We laughed at him, naturally, and he was seriously embarrassed. He walked around M's chair, turned his back to us, pushed his ears back, and avoided us. Generally a pretty useless creature, he is at least immensely entertaining.
Sorry this post got so gross. I'll try to avoid the bathroom humor from now on.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
2. Popsicles are incredible. I hope that these bizarre little independent popsicle places that make flavors like "rose petal" and "hibiscus" and "Strawberry Pink Peppercorn" are EVERYWHERE this summer. I know I'm covered in Nashville and North Topsail Island... do we have any places like this in Raleigh? Cary? If not, someone start one. Kthx.
3. Why is it that my entire social life revolves around eating? Seriously guys, we really need to come up with other fun stuff to do. Or I will never wear a two piece bathing suit again. We live in a fun city, I'm fairly sure we can entertain ourselves away from restaurants. I vote for kayaking on the next weekend. Who's in?
4. I am the worst procrastinator in the entire world. We have to be out of our apartment in less that 2 weeks, and I have packed like, a box. Anyone wanna help me? I'll feed you. It may even be homecooked. Please? I'll provide the fun vacuum bags and we can squish all my clothes and bedding. It'll be fun! Oh man. Even I don't believe that.
5. O.M.Gsh. I Want To Believe. I can't wait. I'm gonna die! They're totally gonna make out.
Here are some pictures:
The Bug handled the wreck really well... I was pretty impressed. I plowed into this chick at full speed... and while I'm pretty sure lots of stuff was busted up internally, the front end just kinda rolled under her van. And I didn't die.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Next thing I know I'm inhaling gun powder and my airbags have both deployed. The windshield was sufficiently destroyed. A big black van decided to turn left. I have no idea how she missed a bright blue Bug driving down an open road at noon on a sunny day. It was not an intersection. There was no stop light or stop sign for her to run. She just decided that pulling out of the parking lot into my BRAND NEW CAR was a good plan.
So I hop out. My first thought was, her insurance better get me a rental car real quick like. Because tomorrow is beach day. I definitely didn't think about the fact that someone could have been hurt. Not one of my proudest moments.
However, we all ARE fine, so I'm just gonna be angry. Seriously?! What the heck. I didn't even make it three weeks. My computer was also busted in the accident, as it was hanging out on the passenger seat. There's a line in my computer an inch wide where the screen has been busted. So uh, I'm working with it.
When I finally did decide to check myself out I found only a few scratches and bruises from the airbags, so I know I'm pretty lucky. Thanks to Sarah, my boss, who brought me a Cherry Limeade and waited for me and drove me around. So anyway... another day, another day. Tomorrow morning I get to freak out on allstate until they give me a car to take to the beach.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Have you ever thought what it would be like if Kirk Cameron and Bono got into a street fight to see who is the best famous Christian? Just a no holds barred, anything goes donnybrook? No? It's just me then, huh? Well here is what I think it would look like:
"Look Bono, even before I became really well known for my Christianity I was providing nice, appropriate laughter to millions of people on the hit show, 'Growing Pains.'"
"Was that the one with Tony Danza? I get those all confused. Well, while you were making sitcoms that paved the way for 'Two and a Half Men,' I was touring the world singing songs with hidden Christian meaning to millions of people."
"Fair enough, but I have a powerful ministry called 'the way of the master.' Not only do we have an official crest and a series called "Hell's best kept secret," but my partner has a mustache and everyone knows there is something inherently spiritual about mustachioed men."
"Ha, that is hilarious. I touched more hearts than you'll ever reach with my Super Bowl performance after 9/11 and I've allowed Christian musicians to cover my music for years. I didn't even gripe when my songs were covered and suddenly deemed acceptable for Christian radio just because a Christian band was doing them. And don't forget my work in Africa."
"Oh please, you have a guy named "edge' in your band. Who changes their name to 'edge?' And didn't you swear at the grammy's one year?"
"Whoa, low blow, Mike Seaver, low blow. Don't you have a photo shoot you need to be doing with the Jonas Brothers for the magazine Tiger Beat?"
"Guys, there's no need to fight. I'm the best famous Christian."
"Bio-Dome's Stephen Baldwin, what are you doing here?"
"I have a skate ministry and since Stuff Christians Like refuses to give me my own entry I had to crash your entry."
"None of this matters. I've just been toying with the both of you?"
"Why do you say that?"
"Simple, I was in the movie version of 'Left Behind.'"
"Thanks for having me. Good game. Jon give me a call. I'll give you a free Rob Roskopp old school skateboard."
Friday, May 16, 2008
God does absolutely amazing things all the time. Paying attention works wonders.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Yeah, right now I wish I was that smooth. I'm just sayin'.
Fine. I'll give you the story. Cute Guy walks into the office for a meeting like 30 minutes ago. Boss man is late. Of course. So I have a chance to talk to Cute Guy. Definitely from a town 15 minutes from where I grew up. Really sweet. He's a finance guy.. we start talking about stuff I know nothing about. I tell him I know nothing about it. He gives me his card and says he'll show me how to get set up with IRAs, etc...
Now if I was half as lame as, say, any sitcom actress, when he walks out of that office, I would be like, "So this sounds really interesting... tell me more about it tomorrow night?"
But I'm so not cool enough to pull that off. Instead... I'll put on some lipstick and smile really big when he walks out of his meeting. And watch him drive away in his Lexus. *sigh*
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Stuff is starting to pull together for my move. Yay!! I don't know that I could be much more excited to be out of school. And um, I have fans. They made tee shirts. :-)
You wish you had kids that cool in your life. :-)
Meanwhile, it's raining. I feel like a 5 year old, staring out the window wishing it was sunny out. I'm having a Cat In The Hat moment right now... I'm envisioning Thing 1 and Thing 2 running around, being scolded by a goldfish while running through the office with kites.
The only thing to do on days like this is sit on the couch with a huge bowl of mac and cheese. With Lifetime on TV. And only Lifetime. From 7am when the Nanny comes on and kicks off my morning until she closes it out at 1:30 AM, with a little Golden Girls, Reba, Frasier, and Will and Grace in between.
Granted, in this scenario I will be passed out wayyyy before 1:30. Are you slightly distressed that I know Lifetime's programming schedule so well? It makes me a little sad. I should probably be more embarrassed than I am. Meanwhile, this sums up my weekend:
I love my life.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Friday, May 9, 2008
I'm exhausted. And still have like 7 hours to go. Before I get to go home, pack, and do laundry. My poor puppyface. He hates me right now.
So just to bring everyone up to speed: School's out, yay God. I passed everything. Which is a small miracle in and of itself. Because I'm still not entirely sure how everything got done. But... most of it did. Enough of it did for me to be still enrolled in school.
Now for the next few weeks I juggle my time between sitting in offices and playing with children. Which brings me to my adventure for today.
I showed up at 7:45 for this job this morning. Which is ridiculous. And had this kid alllll day. Anyone who watches children knows what it's like keeping a 4 year old entertained all day. Especially when they don't like TV. So we start off the day by playing Barbies. Entirely his idea, I promise (much to the chagrin of his father, who was at home working for part of the day). Barbies are a completely different experience with 4 year old boys. There was no hair brushing involved. No dressing them up for "weddings". We sent them on rocket rides. Dropped houses on them. They pooped every 30 seconds. Babies were put in the oven.
We read about 756 books before my voice gave out. We ate. We played the most dysfunctional game of Kerplunk ever. I began to run out of things to do about 4 hours in. So I resorted to the balloons I bought that I keep in my car just for these occasions. We head out to the bug and make balloon swords and hats. I take him on an adventure. The enemy was not a monster. Not pirates. None of that. We were fighting off the Backyardigans.
Our attack brought us in circles around the pond, through "tree covered caves", and into "bat" territory. They chased us endlessly. Until he decided he wanted a red popsicle. Then there was a ceasefire of sorts, and we made balloon elephants and monkeys. We were in full battle attire, about to brave the jungles to deliver the monkey to his natural habitat when mom came home and broke up the fun.
He told her to leave.
This is the third job in a row where the kids have told their parents that they didn't want the babysitter to leave. That's good, right? ;-)
It's probably because I am getting entirely too good at acting like a 5 year old.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Then I had a clown gig. Since I'm perpetually overbooked, I had to get ready at the church. I'm standing in the bathroom getting plenty of stares as I paint up my face.
I'm just finishing up and look over to see Pam Tillis beside me. Anyway, yeah so I'm pretty embarrassed. But I laugh it off, then jump in my Bug and head over to another church to twist some balloons.
I get there and Jo Dee Messina and her mom were sitting there. I was like awesome, this is a fun game. Let's see how many celebrities I can run into dressed like a clown.
At least the dogs enjoy my skirt.
Sorry about the wall shot at the end. I uh, didn't realize it was still recording.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
It starts to rain. Now, last week it rained on our hike. That's fine. Whatever. I can handle a little wetness. Then it starts to rain. And we know my dog is a pansy. He starts shaking. We're not even halfway through the 5 mile trail at this point. We get to a road. Finally. We're both completely soaked at this point. It's cold. There's no one else in sight. Because they all have brains and have chosen to leave the park. Mentally healthy people don't go play in the thunderstorm with 3 dogs.
We decide to take the road back. Because two and a half miles of muddy rocky trail does not sound like it's going to work at this point. Our dogs are beginning to resemble drowned rats. We set out on the road, completely unsure of where we're going. But there! There's a shelter! A park map perhaps?! A car is parked, and we see two people in the shelter.
We approach said shelter slowly, an eerie music floating through the air and slowing our approach. Who are these people? And why are they on top of the picnic table in lawn chairs? We tossed around several ideas. KKK? Satanists? Polygamists? Naturally, we look for the best in people.
Choking on smoke as we approached, I asked them if they minded if we stood under the shelter for a minute, and explained that we were lost and hoping to find a map. She explained that we should take the access road we had passed coming off the trail and head to the right to get back to the road leading to where we were parked. So we make a quick exit and walk up the nasty gravel road. We make it to the end and find ourselves on the highway. Obviously we can't walk three dogs along a main road with no walkway. So we turn around and try to plan another course of action.
Passing back by creepy polygamist people, I suggest turning off the main road again in the direction we needed to go. We begin winding around into nowhere, discussing being chased by polar bears. Then Rachel injured herself. I threw her around my shoulders to protect her bum ankle, all three dogs pulling on my arm as I walked 7 miles uphill. Then came the earthquake.
Okay not really. But we really did walk forever down the windy wet road, and eventually come to our trail. I made the call that we should pick up the trail there and take it back to where we began. Again, epic fail. We walk a ways into this trail and have the deja vu feelings. Not entirely okay with this. Finally, we sit on a muddy rock on the hill and plan our course of action. I call some people and have my roommate look up the number for the park ranger. No dice. No one was available to help us. The recording suggested calling metro. So... we did.
An hour later we still hadn't gotten a response from metro. We were cranky, cold, and our girly puppies were horribly miserable. Desperate, we call 911. To be hung up on because we were not in a life or death situation. Whatever. We call Kim and Susan, and they agree to rescue us. Of course, several minutes later, Metro finally returns our call, and we cancel our ride, choosing instead to let the cop pick us and our drowned rat dogs up.
We wait, sitting on a big rock, letting the dogs hang out. The rain has begun to let up and we're freezing but relaxed. Then Laney jumps into the creek and emerges covered in mud. At this point all we can do is laugh at how absurd our situation is.
The cop arrives, we load all our mud and stench into his back seat and accept his ride back to our vehicles. Drenched, cold, and tired, three hours later, we headed back to Kingston Springs, where Kim and Susan took us to get some Chinese, then made us brownies. Here I sit on the couch, finally completely warm and comfortable, 5 dogs cuddling on the couches and chairs with us. All in all, we came out unscathed. We just looked like this: