They inform me that Marty loves the ladies. Several times. I assure them that I'll be cute and give him a hug goodbye, and then call Mary E. for a report when I'm finished. So, mission initiated. I arrive at Marty's nursing home, feeling pretty good about all the old people smiling at me. It was by far one of the more rewarding clown experiences thus far. I arrive to find Marty getting his nails filed by a a woman. Obviously not a nurse. The conversation went something like this:
Me: "Hello! How are you doing, Mr. Marty?"
Marty: "Doing pretty good, whatcha got there?"
Me: "Ms. Mary E. sent this for you! Isn't it nice?"
Marty: "Yeah that's great! ... my ex-wife."
Me: *awkward pause*
Other Woman: "I'm what you would call the other woman."
Me: *another awkward pause* *forced laugh and obscenely large smile.*
What. The. Heck. Who introduces themselves to a stranger as "the other woman"? Especially when said stranger looks like this:
Meanwhile, I run late for everything, so I didn't have time to change before class. Period. I didn't even have time to pee. So... I most definitely attended my last class of the year like this. In addition, I was rockin' striped tights, a polka dotted skirt, hot pink tank top, and black patent shoes with bows on them.
Yeah. You wish you could be as cool as me.
... and I wonder why I don't have friends.
I have amazing ones. Who even choose to walk around campus with me dressed like this. Yeah, Ashley you're awesome.
Now... I will finally go remove paint from my face. 6 hours after I gave Mary E. my report.
PS - She's fully aware of the other woman and asked me about her and talked trash on the phone afterward. Awkward.