Tuesday, April 29, 2008

"Um, why is your face painted...?"

So... today.  I have a clown gig.  Except, it's not just the run of the mill birthday party or church function.  Oh no.  Ms. Mary E. wanted me to deliver a fruit basket to her husband in the nursing home.  Now, Marty has dementia.  He does not know who anyone is.  I thought it was such a sweet gesture.  I go pick up the fruit basket and then drive out to Mary E.'s retirement building and meet her in the lobby to pick up a card for Marty before heading over there.  All the little old ladies sat in the lobby and cooed about how cute I was.  Of course I was cute.  Anything painted with pink hearts is cute, right?

They inform me that Marty loves the ladies.  Several times.  I assure them that I'll be cute and give him a hug goodbye, and then call Mary E. for a report when I'm finished.  So, mission initiated.  I arrive at Marty's nursing home, feeling pretty good about all the old people smiling at me.  It was by far one of the more rewarding clown experiences thus far.  I arrive to find Marty getting his nails filed by a a woman.  Obviously not a nurse.  The conversation went something like this:

Me: "Hello! How are you doing, Mr. Marty?" 
Marty: "Doing pretty good, whatcha got there?"
Me: "Ms. Mary E. sent this for you! Isn't it nice?"
Marty: "Yeah that's great! ... my ex-wife."
Me: *awkward pause*
Other Woman: "I'm what you would call the other woman."
Me: *another awkward pause* *forced laugh and obscenely large smile.*

What. The. Heck. Who introduces themselves to a stranger as "the other woman"?  Especially when said stranger looks like this:

Meanwhile, I run late for everything, so I didn't have time to change before class. Period.  I didn't even have time to pee.  So... I most definitely attended my last class of the year like this.  In addition, I was rockin' striped tights, a polka dotted skirt, hot pink tank top, and black patent shoes with bows on them.

Yeah. You wish you could be as cool as me. 

... and I wonder why I don't have friends.


I have amazing ones.  Who even choose to walk around campus with me dressed like this.  Yeah, Ashley you're awesome.

Now... I will finally go remove paint from my face. 6 hours after I gave Mary E. my report.  

PS - She's fully aware of the other woman and asked me about her and talked trash on the phone afterward. Awkward. 


Rob said...

the other woman! lol

Jen said...

Awkward McAwkwardson.

Chatty said...

acutally... i kinda do wish i was as cool as you... :-P