Sometimes my heart breaks because I feel like I'm giving up so much with any decision I make. Like it did when I started crying in class this morning for no apparent reason. I did decide to leave Nashville. Then Monday night reminded me of how much I love the music business, and how much I love things here. How much I love the music and the excitement and the live productions and the glamour. I am questioning how willing I am to give it up. How do you decide between between your dreams and your heart? I feel like they should go together. But my heart is in North Carolina and my dreams are in Nashville.
Sometimes I think I do things just because I need to prove to myself and to other people that I can. I'm sick of the distraction. I've finally achieved some level of confidence, and I know that I'm going to be alright in either place. I know what I'm good at. I know what I love. I'm trying to figure out how to turn that into a decision. I've realized that I've just been begging God to give me an answer, when I'm the one not paying attention. So my focus has shifted to listening. I'll let you know how that works out for me.