Monday, January 28, 2008

It's the little things....

So anyone in Nashville knows how ridiculously cold it's been this month. A few nights ago, it was raining, and when I parked for the night I forgot to turn off my wipers. So of course, the next morning, I run out to the car. It's like, -17 or something, and the dew and rain from the night before have given my car a fun little ice coat. So I turn the car on, and in addition to all the fun little sounds my car usually makes when it's cold out, I hear a horrible scrape on my windshield. Basically, my windshield wiper had frozen and busted off and flown off onto the sidewalk. Now I'm reasonably used to things falling off of my car, exploding, snapping, etc, so it didn't really freak me out too much. I just threw it in my passenger seat and went about my business.

Now this weekend, it stayed dry. Yay God. This morning, however, I leave my apartment and see an unnerving amount of gray in the sky. So I go to the Shel service station today between classes to get my wiper fixed. I'd put it off, because if any of you know me at all, you're probably aware of my luck with cars. Pretty much, I break them and it's really expensive. So I had basically convinced myself that I was going to have to track down an entire wiper assembly for my 16 year old monstrosity of a vehicle. But anyway, cute old Shell guy sends me to O'Reilly to buy the part that I managed to break. This is my favorite part of this story. It cost me $1.63.

Yes, one dollar and sixty three cents. When has that ever happened to me? Pretty much NEVER. So yes, this was a great start to my week... life is good.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008


So I got an anonymous message from someone yesterday (I don't know who...) but it said this:

"There are more beautiful things about you than you think, you rarely give yourself enough credit. You should also wait quite a few more years before growing cynical. Permit yourself to regard the world with wonder now and again."

It made me think a lot. At first, it made me a little angry - because, naturally, I skip over the wonderful compliment and get defensive. Maybe because on some level I'm afraid of being cynical, and I hate that about me. It's so easy to let my hectic, stressful life take over and forget to enjoy things like taking my dog for walks, watching movies with friends, cooking dinners (which I've actually just realized that I haven't done since I got back to Tennessee...), and of course, watching Lifetime before work in the morning.

Most people I know are in similar situations with school, work, and general life. Personally, I work 45+ hours a week and go to school full time. That leaves about 0 hours in a week for anything else. It's not an excuse. Recognizing what makes you happy throughout the course of a day is not time consuming. Because there is always something there that will make you smile - whether it's bumping into someone you haven't seen in a while, taking 5 minutes to call someone you know will be glad to hear from you, or just appreciating that you get to come home to an apartment full of good friends, eat cake and watch a movie in your pajamas... (I said last night when I walked in, going to my place is like coming home to a party every time I walk through the door! And I love it.)

Thank you, whoever you are, for reminding me that seeing God's wonder is not always a matter of making time - it's a matter of paying attention.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Why I'm moving to Raleigh this year...

1. Music sales continued their decline dropping another 15% or more over 2006. Sales were down 21% in the week before Christmas alone.

2. DRM is dead. Three of the four top label groups (EMI, Universal, and and last week WMG) stopped adding restrictive software to their downloads. opened an all mp3 store where every track is playable on any brand of player and can be burned to a CD.

4. Amazon also rejected iTune's 99 cent/$9.99 pricing structure cutting them by 10%.

5. Social networking gained traction as a viral marketing media. Facebook's open platform and Google's Open Social promised to make SN even more marketer friendly in 2008.

6. Widgets were everywhere bringing music discovery and purchase to where ever fans are online.

7. Ringtone sales faltered, but music still went mobile. The release of the iPhone forced other phone makers to add more music features to all cell phones.

8. The competition among portable players finally heated up. iPods got cheaper with some models getting bigger hard drives. Microsofts' Zune gained traction as an iPod alternative.
The competition among portable players finally heated up. iPods got cheaper with some models getting bigger hard drives.

9. Microsofts' Zune gained traction as an iPod alternative. Internet radio had an uncertain year with ongoing royalty rate battles. Despite that 2007 saw the rise of personalized net radio. Pandora and gained big audiences and others like Slacker launched.

10. A growing number of established artists including Radiohead, Madonna, The Eagles and Prince found new ways to release their music without traditional labels.

11. The RIAA continued its legal actions against fans who trade music on the net particularly targeting colleges. Despite these efforts Bit torrent and Limewire usage grew.

12. More record stores closed, but some great local retailers remained strong.

13. Overall concert revenues declined 20%. Are fans tired of high ticket prices and a mediocre concert experience?
Concert giant Live Nation fired Ticketmaster (known for high ticketing fees) and promised its own ticketing system by Jan 1st 2009.

Friday, January 4, 2008

Why I Love YouTube.

Tell me this doesn't make you smile. I envy people who can let go and dance like that.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008


I have spent the greater part of the past 10 years dealing with guilt. The whole grace thing eluded me for a long time, and while I feel like I am forgiven, the concept of being wiped clean in God's eyes will always be something that I have a hard time grasping. It doesn't matter how severe the guilt is, I have a tendency to let it swallow me whole. It eats at me and I end up blaming myself for things that I know on a rational level are not my fault.

Today that vicious cycle that dominated my high school life slapped me in the face again. It hurts just as much now as it did when I was 16, and the source is pretty much the same. I don't know what it is about certain people in your life, but I know that I'm not the only one who has someone like this... that person that just gets under your skin and knows what hurts you most. The person that knows exactly which buttons to push to destroy the hard-won confidence and self-esteem that seems harder and harder to come by, and not only that, but can make you believe that it's your fault.

It never stops hurting. And I'm still waiting for the day when it hurts less.

My trip.

So I pretty much got to see everyone I needed to see. Not everyone, of course, because that never happens, there are always a few people that I just can't seem to get together with. But this was so good. I am reminded every time I come back here that this is where my heart is. This is where my "family" is (biological and otherwise...), and it's hard for me to fathom wanting to be anywhere else at this point in my life. I need to finish up Belmont and get back here and start on the rest of my life. I'm newly motivated, and so rejuvenated by my time here. I don't want to leave tomorrow.

I get to get back to Belmont, start in on a new job, and buckle down for 8 more months. Then I'm done with college forever, and can FINALLY be on to next. Lately I have been struggling with feeling left behind by my friends. So many are moving on to the next chapter of their lives and I'm stuck in school, struggling to get by, taking any job I can. When I put it in perspective, I realize that I have had much more to do to survive than the average college student, and that it's okay that I have had to take time off every now and then. In the grand scheme of things, graduating at 24 is not a big deal. I always thought I'd be 22 like everyone else, but I also didn't plan on working full time and interning my entire way through college either. Such is life.

Life is good now. I'm ready to wrap up this chapter of my life. I love Nashville. My years there have been great. I wouldn't trade them for anything. But I don't think I belong there long term. I will miss my life there a lot, no question. But my life is here, and I don't see myself being anywhere else.